Recently a former politician brought up the issue of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and how that was the excuse given to dismiss their sons abuse charge from the police. I am going to leave the politics out of this for the moment and try to discuss the actual ramifications of PTSD and how it interacts with our service members (by the way anyone can get PTSD, I'm just focusing on the military side of it for the time being.) Now the way this former politician went about discussing PTSD was not only wrong, it was to score cheap political points when so many that have served this nation suffer greatly from PTSD. It is easy to blame the current administration and it is also easy to claim that this administration has helped greatly to fund and give care to those who suffer from PTSD.
Instead lets start with this statement; all administrations since 1930 are to blame for the failures of the Veterans Administration, now some have been better than others and did amazing things. But ultimately this disorder has always existed during WWI & WWII it was labeled as shell shock. During wartime the country pats the backs of soldiers at every turn but once those wars stop or the public becomes uninterested the pressure to care for those vets from the public's perspective disappears. The public at large believes it's pro-veteran but it's easy to get someone to say they support the troops, it's much harder to convince those people to raise taxes to pay for the care or push for sweeping mental health reforms. I am also not saying that the VA doesn't share the blame either, but to make serious reforms their needs to be pressure at all times not just when the next war kicks off. We choose to overspend on the defense department, as a society we've chosen to ignore the costs of war and the damage it has done to our veterans.
Why am I bringing this issue up now? I'm coming up on the ten year mark from when I went back to Iraq and nearly spent all of 2006 there. I remember the depression, the anger and the feelings of hopelessness, I remember not having anyone to go to about my deployments and not knowing how to process everything that happened to me during that year. I remember breaking down in Iraq and balling my eyes out in the back of a shipping container because I had no outlet for the stress and let it all build up inside me. Everyone deals with PTSD differently but it is not an excuse to do terrible things or hurt other people. It was left untreated and wasn't talked about by those who were in the service because of the fear of getting kicked out at the time.
This issue is very close to my heart and fortunately for me I wrote about my feelings and time in Iraq, unfortunately those entries are lost forever and I wish I would have never deleted them when I left active duty. But as I've told other veterans you just can't sit back and expect anyone else to do the heavy lifting for you, you need to make the first step of talking to someone (a friend, a stranger, a therapist) or writing in a journal and getting those feelings off your mind. To some PTSD can be just as damaging as losing a limb and that isn't the veterans fault, we need to remind ourselves that these human beings were broken and never given the chance to be healed. Many veterans abused substances like drugs and alcohol, others hurt those around them and unfortunately a large number committed suicide.
Ten years later I can say that I survived over 500 days in Iraq, I can say that I served my country honorably and that I met numerous amazing service members who put their lives and minds on the line. I honestly don't miss those days in the war and I sure as hell don't miss the feelings I felt while in a hostile environment. But if I could talk to that 20 year old kid I'd tell him that there is hope and that finding someone to open up to would be the best thing in the world and is the best thing in the world, I am still learning to open up but I think I'm finally going in the right direction.
Now if anyone reading this needs help please contact these resources, you are never alone.
1 (800) 273-8255 - Suicide Prevention Line
http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/where-to-get-help.asp
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